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Early 2013 onwards ...


... Spring was a long time springing, but the quest to provide you with the best timber not only in Hampshire but throughout the UK continued through the cold winter days & of course failed as usual! But, we are a lot cheaper than Timbnet!


Each year is def. going quicker ...


... than the last! I've long accepted Christmas coming round every six months or so - I've now had to write to the NHS as I'm convinced that Premature Ejaculation Awareness Day has come early this year.


But back to a different kind of wood, last time I mentioned spending a while with New Forest Rob whilst he planked Oak with his Peterson mill. On the one hand this bit of kit is ideal for reducing massive trees without having to lift them... on the other hand the prep takes hours and it's just as bloody hard work.


To cut a long story ...


... a bit shorter. We (well mostly Rob) put hours of effort on three big Oaks that created lots of offcuts and very little great timber. You baskets just roll up and buy my stock without a thought to how much effort it took getting it!


The sawing itself is about 20% of the time on the tree, the rest clearing and setting up. The other downside of this mill is a max width plank of 8".


Still as you will see from pic below the scenary was good and my chilblains from the below freezing temp got better a week or so later- only to come back with the sodding cold weather.


Rob is selling Planed & Interesting ...


... bits like Walnut and Yew from a section of my woodshed. Well, to be accurate I am selling it on his behalf on commission. This is to give you, dear woodworker a bit of choice - pay a bit more for stuff Rob has put the hours in to or buy my rough sawn but certainly not rough (well not all of it !) timber.

This is the easy bit , all set up and whizzing through the log - it's the rest that hurts !

Richard from Hampshire Wood Projects ...


... based in the southern end of the County is a carpenter who will either build you a barn or fit a cupboard in your kitchen or possibly something in between! He came over to get a bit of wood and as a bonus brought the lovely laburnum pictured below.


Of course, you know the difference between a penis & a bonus? - your wife will blow your bonus!


Regular Readers know I like a rant ...


... at piss takers - unless of course it's me doing it, in which case it's an amusing jolly jape. King P.T. has to be Brian the old codger who used to ' help ' me and now breaks Mark at Andover Down's gear.


" We want to borrow your generator for a job" Brian informs rather than asks me before Christmas. As I will do anything for Mark I agree and eventually in the New Year Brian rings to inform me I am allowed to collect it.


As I load it, I laughingly enquire if he has filled it with petrol as experience has shown that if I'm waiting for a drink for the use of my genny it will be a long wait - as he has never bought anyone a drink since losing a £5 note when in the army in 1958.


" Well, we only used it for half an hour and we didn't have no petrol ", came the predictable reply!

You nearly didn't find the annual snowy ...


... background pics in this edition. For the first time when it snowed I thought sod it and hibernated for a week until it melted. I have to say I lost no trade as enquiries dried up and sensible punters did the same. However, in the end I got stir crazy and ventured out in the newer white Pick Up.


It is quite enjoyable working in the snow once you get the blood going but much less is achieved. Erwin came up with some Apple and Plum for my smoking wood so I followed his usual instructions: go to Highclere and listen for the chainsaw !


Bizarrely I had been to a ...


... a school just opposite Erwin's job the week before to look at a Yew that needed felling. It turned out that the Yew was fine and was holding on to a Douglas Fir that wanted to hit the deck, so I was able to get the job for Erwin whilst filling me truck with Apple wood.


This year I gritted my teeth and cut and chunked the Apple branches straight away rather than leave it until it is dry when it gets so rock hard that it is almost impossible to do.



Winter seemed never ending but this truck has a better heater than the old one!

A friend of mine is in ...


... big trouble with his wife and looking for somewhere to live. She gave him some money and told him to go and buy some tablets to help his erection problems. He bought a job lot of diet pills for her!


I think the quality of jokes is going downhill since I left the old job so discount for anyone who supplies something I can use and makes me laugh.


Buying Timber from the Big Boys ...


... isn't a laugh in terms of how much I have to pay but sometimes it has to be done to get you something a bit tasty. I bought Yew, Walnut and Maple from the biggest local tree surgeon.


Graham the boss told me he had 18 vehicles and only 14 employees as the vehicles were less aggravation which amused me. I decided to pay the astronomical amount demanded to bring them 10 miles and have to admit was impressed by the skill with which Graham reversed an 18 tonner into the wood.


The Yew is a bit of a ...


... monster that will need reducing by Rob as I can't lift or move it. The Maple is the biggest and whitest I have had and the Walnut currently awaits the saw so more about this next time. Anyway, having got into the wood in his rather too large vehicle, getting out was harder!


Fortunately my little tractor pulls better than it lifts and I was able to tow him out with only minor damage to my pants.


So arrives three awkward to deal with but potentially very interesting bits of wood!

Erwin is a much ...


... better man to buy timber from as he is not only sensible to the point of being generous pricewise but with his timber trailer he brings it to the wood and neatly stacks it where I can get at it.


Rather than turn up at the wood and find something has been nicked I turn up and find half a dozen clean sticks of Oak and Ash have appeared.


The next step is to get him to cut and stack it for me too but that only happens in the erotic dreams I have these days about timber rather than women!



Erwin has consistently sourced top quality timber ... this Ash has excellent figure

I now have more ...


... timber than ever to cut so I'd better get on with it instead of talking about it. The wood sheds are looking reasonably well stocked despite people annoyingly buying it, so come on over.


On my to do list is a charcoal burn or two but I really need to spend some money and time on sorting out the lid. I'm flirting with the idea of a 'how to' course for the BBQ fraternity.


The problem is that it's a three day gig really: firing it up, keeping the burn even and then bagging up 24 hours after it's cooled, so it would take a bit of organising.


Delivering some Smoking Wood ...


... turned into bit of a pain in the arse and even worse my wallet. Following excellent directions I got straight to the address and drove up the steep drive as I had been instructed ' it's fine to drive in'.


It was fine... going in! Turning round on a nasty slope was as tight as a gnome's foreskin and a sneakily placed 2 foot wall resulted in my snapping off the plastic valence on my X Trail. Money in £35, out a bit more x 3 !!- some you win ...


Next time I hope to ...


... be able to report a delve into the beast with 10 eyes below. I've got to put a bit of work into scraping all the crap and stones out of the gaps but I can report a lovely deep purple colour and a little burr ... it's got potential!


The woods are drying out rapidly so get over and buy that excellent bit of wood before someone else does!



Not sure how we are going to tackle this ... carefully I suspect!








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