Middle bit of 2017
The annual shift from Winter ...
... into Summer is always welcome with the sap in us old buggers rising with the trees and a brief burst of energy. Naturally, it doesn't last long but it's fun while it lasts - as many women have told me.
On the list of things to do was to get the woods khazi operational, sort out the condemned tree house and get a bit more interesting timber to satisfy the baskets that keep buying it.
Before all that I must tell you ...
... about an old boy I know who saw a large frog in the road and being a decent sort picked it up to put it out of harms way.
As he did so the frog said. Thank you and for your kindness I can reveal that I am in fact a beautiful princess who has been enchanted.
If you kiss me not only will I become ...
... the aforementioned beautiful princess but unlike the fairy tales I'm also a filthy dirtbag and I'll give you the time of your life in bed ... on the table ... in bath or wherever and whenever !
The old chap started to put the frog in his pocket. The frog croaked Oi didn't you hear me, kiss me and I'll transform into the woman of your dreams.
I heard you treacle but at my age I'd rather have a talking frog!
During my usual search for ...
... timber that not only appeals to me but that I know my regulars will bite my hands off for I spotted a couple of Ash logs that had a bit of burr and some olive centres.
In this particular yard most of the Ash gets chopped up for logs. Ian my contact there who has looked after me very well in recent years eventually gave in to my pleading not to chop it up and I quickly marked it with my spray before he changed his mind.
Some of the book matched ...
... Planks from the sister log were even better. I have pictures of them on my Instagram - something I'm trying to use and the dreaded Facebook page which though it has a few things that annoy me does spread the word to interested people.
I think you'll agree it will make some stylish coffee tables. Notice how the sap wood is going pink within minutes of being cut - the right hand one being straight off the saw. |
A mate of mine used to be a ...
... taxi driver but he gave it up because he didn't like people talking behind his back. He then became a baker but ended up with smelly fingers because he kneaded a poo!
My early 2017 purchases for stock ...
... were even more varied than usual. On top of the ever popular Oak and Beech and the Ash above I couldn't resist a London Plane log though I have plenty and a first for me Tree of Heaven.
The Tree of Heaven has an Ash like grain but a slightly yellow colour and when it was first cut I was quite excited but when looking at it in stick after a month it has some nasty checking which will reduce it's appeal when seasoned. The biggest Oaks I bought also had more than just slab worm so it just goes to show it isn't all cash and cuddles.
Kevin my local and reliable lorry ...
... man moved a load of larger Beech, Sweet Chestnut and Oak up to Helmdon Sawmill and brought back the load below - the round logs being manageable on our bandsaw.
Getting bigger stuff off a lorry and into the woods is the tricky bit, so it's worth paying for someone like Kevin who having owned his lorry for 15 years can get it anywhere but most usefully has a 3 tonne crane to put stuff on to my trailer to run into the woods.
I also bunged Graham the farmer to get the bigger bits over the gate and in to the woods with his telehandler.
An eclectic load of Cedar Plane Oak and for a the tree house a bit of Corsican Pine. |
Back in the depths of Winter ...
... I helped my mate Ant tidy up some fallen Oak and Ash in a wood near us. He was after the cordwood and the two Oak and two Ash trunks were my rather generous reward for a bit of chainsawing.
The down side was that access was tight and there was no tame telehandler driver to pop them gently on my trailer. The Oak need to be moved 20 feet to the trailer and then rolled up the ramps. I have done this in the past using the Army parlocking technique but this is what I describe as knackering !
Luckily Ant is the master of ...
... improvisation and finding the easiest way to do something. A while back I had been given a small electric winch with all control gear missing and sensibly handed it on to Ant. With a bit of welding here and there and adding some power and switch gear he has created a sturdy mobile winch.
It wasn't long before the log was where Ant is standing and by then relocating the winch it was loaded next to its' brother without me breaking sweat! |
In addition to picking up ...
... the odd log locally the search for bigger, better and interesting continued. I've probably said it before that like when a women bends over flashing her drawers it's impossible not to look the same is true when you get offered timber from a new source.
Sometimes it's disappointing but unless you check it out you will never know. At my favourite tree surgeons yard there is a regularly shifting pile. In the three years I've been going they have never managed to clear the pile before more stuff is piled on top.
I'm sure there's a bit of Elm ...
... in there Ian had told me several times. I wasn't entirely convinced it was a) there and b) if there not full of worm or rot as it'd have been there a few years but bugger me with a broomstick in early summer he dug it out!
With these to transport it seemed sensible getting a full lorry load so I ended up buying more Plane, Sycamore a v large Sequoia and some Oak Ash and Beech ... processing it is going to be a challenge for a one man band!
As you can see the Elm has a lot going on. There are some thin spalt lines from it spending a long time in the round but it's sound & I know some people who will be over for it soon! |
Trevor the Tyre is a top bloke ...
... in a few years he has built up an excellent business through sheer hard work coupled with reasonable prices and a friendly efficient service.
This little bit is not about him but about progress I have made in maintenance and reducing the odds of grief moving timber. I'd noticed the back tyres looked a bit perished and with the trailer not being all that old and the tyres not worn out I was tempted to squeeze a bit more out of them.
A few years ago we ...
... were stranded in Romsey with a trailer load of Elm and flat tyres on a knackered old trailer belonging the Blacksmith. It made a good story but was in fact a 6 hour ball ache that could have been prevented with a prior trip to Trev.
Four new uprated tyres hopefully reduces the chance of the oh shit moment on the A34. |
When I was still in the Police I dealt ...
... with a lad who had been robbed by a bloke in a wheelchair wearing army camouflage. He was a bit upset so I reassured him - this man can hide but he can't run!
Tearing down the tree house ...
... turned out to be a quick job. It was getting a bit wobbly but trying to take it to bits from the air was looking hazardous. Jay, one of my neices' talented boyfriend came up with the great idea of pulling it down with some strategically placed cable and towing with the Pick up.
He also offered to come and help ...
... put a new one up. I've heard this before and it often never happens - it hasn't yet!
Sequoia or Wellontonia as it is ...
... sometimes described as well as Redwood is a funny one. Basically red Pine and a softwood it's not the sort of stock I seek being mostly a hardwoods supplier but when a big one comes your way it's hard to refuse as my wife will tell you.
It has similar properties to Cedar against rot but isn't quite as desirable. However, it's great for bearers for timber and makes a good garden table or bee hives and the like.
These currently weigh a ton but once the moisture goes they are very light.
Summer drifted past ...
... the warmer, lighter days are balanced by horse flies and it sometimes being a bit too hot for sweaty work so I don't mind Autumn approaching - obviously if I do mind it's tough shit so it's best to focus on the good bits which include jacket potatoes in the cabin stove.
Next on the improvement list is more solar panel lighting - this time for the tractor shed.
Coming up in the next edition ...
... probably after Christmas should be some great Yew and hopefully some as yet undiscovered gems. Visitors are as ever welcome especially those who are prepared to listen to my wood related pearls of wisdom which of course have no basis on fact.
Keep those fingers attached !
rgs Paul Goulden
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