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Spring into Summer 2019

My favourite time of year was enhanced ...


... by good weather, mega sales and lots of help which has built stock and enable us to improve the Woods as a place for family and friends to visit.


More of this later but first I think an inappropriate joke provided by my son - makes you so proud!


A man and a woman are in a lift ...


... he asks " Where are you off to?" I'm giving blood at that private clinic ... they give you £20 a pint. Actually, he replies, I'm going too but donating sperm ... they give you £100 for a tablespoon full.


A couple of days later they meet in the same place. "Where to today" he enquiries.


Spurmmbank she replies with difficulty trying not to spill any.


I left you last time pondering ...


... if the large Yew pictured was going to be a winner or a sinner. The answer after a painful 4 hours of hitting flints was that it should go straight to hell and not pass go - particularly as the owner had already collected 200!


It started ok having spend an hour digging obvious stones and bricks from one end we got the first cut off and on the back of Rob's truck.



Optimism was high at this stage - boards this wide even with the defects are valuable as the resin users love a good hole to fill & you can see the great colour!

Tragically for my bank balance ...


... it all went downhill from there and top board pictured was the only complete cut as time and again we hit flints. Rob is a very positive bloke as well as a skilled operator and despite each hit blunting his chain he doggedly resharpened time and again and tried different tactics.


We decided to cut a foot off the 7 foot log and when we hit more flint kept coming in until we had a potential 4 foot plank that we still couldn't horizontally cut.


So, when I said sod it let's go home Rob agreed!



In the end it looked like a fatally injured body on a Casualty trolley after the Doctor has called time of death! Not sure what Rob is pointing at.


Rob's You Tube video of this and the damage caused to chains!

The best way to get over a day like that ...


... is to get straight back on to the horse and do another Yew & handily I had one at the woods & though not quite as wide was much sexier looking.



This log cut beautifully without any blade blunting moments and several book match pairs of interesting figure quickly appeared.


I must thank Ian ...


... my premier timber finder for this and a good percentage of the timber I have - he gets dozens of logs each week & puts aside the ones he knows I'll like. Useful man to know. Among the latest batch awaiting the saw a massive Plane, Oak , Ash, Cherry and a big Beech.


Another Ian from AJ Scotts oop North sells hundreds of thousands of pounds of timber all over Europe but still finds time for small potatoes like me giving excellent customer service as if I was a decent client!

A man went into a florist and said ...


... "I'm looking for some flowers for my wife". "Certainly Sir - what are you after?"


"Well, sex of course" he retorts.


Back on the timber front ...


... it was business as usual - duck as many customers as possible, cut some timber and have several long tea breaks!


As part of the improve the looks of the place with my creakin' and occasionally complaining team of old codgers we moved all the timber stacked in front of the wood sheds and prepared more drying room for the pile of logs awaiting cutting at the Sawmill.


My mate Ant ...


... was coaxed away from adding to his ever growing firewood pile to give his digger an airing and attempt to provide a level ish platform for a covered dining area.


This was harder than it looks as there was over a foot drop over a 4 yard area.



Five hours later it was job and yet another favour done for me - cheers bud!

James the owner of Berkshire Oak Barns ...


... is a man of few words who lets his work speak for itself. He'd sorted out The Kiln a few years ago when he'd stopped it falling down with new support beams and added a toilet which has provided much relief since!


I basically said sort me out something sumptious out of Oak that will add a bit of class to the place and should be very cheap.


That's what happened a great price and absolutely no effort from me - well, I said I'd prepare the concrete pads for the 6 x 6 Oak beams to sit on.


I didn't mention ...


... when telling him the pads were in place that they would need levelling up and concreting in. Well, that bit was very difficult with the slope and I knew he couldn't do a half ass job so he speedily got that sorted.



James on the bench directs operations, his mate Paul centre cracks on and Thursday Dave gives his approval. It was together with roof on awaiting the Cedar shingles on another day within 6 hours.

The final landscaping ...


... around this picnic area was done by another valuable friend Erwin with his beast of a forestry machine. In this area was a reasonable sized Ash tree already showing signs of Ash die back and with a potential of falling on the tea hut - that is not in the plan!


Erwin's tool is much bigger than ...


... Ant's tidy little digger and a lot more powerful. It ought to be it cost over 20 times as much. It had the Ash tree pushed over, the root dug up and the whole area landscaped in a couple of hours.



If you have woodland and need mulching this is the tool for the job !


The Summer months started ...


... to tick past as they do but we have added a fair bit of stock including Walnut and Burr Elm and plenty of other stuff to tempt the wood lovers down.


Next on the to do list is a two day road trip with the ever entertaining Rob the mega miller with his Panther milling kit. First up is a promising looking Walnut followed by a decent sized Hornbeam both of which will get my regulars moist!


A few pics of these ...


... in the next edition towards the end of the year with tall tales of what we've been up to and of course more quality timber - not saying it's good quality timber!!



Come and see us.


Bring gold, silver but no frankincense and myrrh ... Santander just wouldn't accept it!