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Spring 2020
A Catholic Priest and a Methodist Minister and ...
... a Rabbit walk into a bar. The Rabbit says " I think I must be a typo! "There's no mistake that in this edition I bring you a variety of timber that is as good quality wise as ever. You obviously have to take into account that a lot of my timber is a bit rough but if you search hard enough you might be pleasantly surprised! I'm always on about getting more stock ...
... and here is a cheap way of getting some beautiful wide quarter sawn Cherry planks. Pop a coupla little beauties in the ground and let nature do it's bit.
Ok, there are some drawbacks. Firstly, trees this size aren't cheap and if you're sensible you'll get a professional like my mate James pictured below to properly prepare, fertilise, stake, strap and protect them which also costs and then you have to wait 35 years.
On the plus side ...
... they are a lot lighter bringing to the woods this way than fully mature logs and all being well these ornamental Prunus should provide stunning double blossom every spring - if the nursery isn't lying to me.
I'll be over 90 when these are mature - hope over expectation? |
Another way to get stock is have a friend like ...
... Erwin who never fails to bring me something good. I got a message from his lovely wife Anna that I had had a visit from the timber fairy and next time I got to the woods I saw the beauties below neatly stacked.
This muddy time of the year I can barely get in and out of the woods and struggle to move loads with Doris the 2 wheel drive little tractor. Erwin's timber transporter gets in and out without causing a mess and he takes time to put them in the best place for me to handle - in the case of the big right hand Oak I need to Alaskan mill it to fit on my saw.
We all know people we have to chase for payment ...
... it's the opposite with Erwin I struggle to get him to take money. 3 weeks after this delivery I messaged him that I have to pay him so that he'll go and find me something else lush - I already have was his reply !
Though the ends of the left handers look reddish they are actually a lovely brown Oak with great markings ... they won't hang around when seasoned.
An old woman walked into a dentist's office ...
... took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room." "You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. "Now you have to remove them."
In other sad news I lost my job as an interrogator ... I didn't like to ask why! |
If you go back to the early 2019 blog ...
... from this time last year you'll see at the start a nice bit o' Beech felled by my mate Ant and at the end of the blog it being quartered by Rob and his Panther mill. It was left like that for the next 12 months which allowed Nature to do it's magic and Mike and Tuesday Dave to cut skillfully to produce the beauties shown below:
My lack of photograhic skills don't really do these justice ... close up are the perfect size of sharp spalt lines different on each of the 2" wainey edged book matched pairs.
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As the mild and wet Winter ...
... dragged on I wondered if the mud would ever dry up and rather lazily batted off a few potential customers and sat in the Cabin instead with the fire roaring jawing with my oppos.
Tuesday Dave and Mike often talk Sport, if Smackers the firewood geezer calls by we don't have to worry about talking as we can't get a word in.
One cold wet and windy day ...... me and Thursday Dave for some reason decided to Google: Most famous people who have drunk themself to death.
A list of 60 came up and rather surprising to us No1 was the amiable Liberal Leader Charles Kennedy ... not sure it's a list you'd want to top but some algorithm put him above enthusiastic tipplers like George Best and Oliver Reed. As the Covid Virus gripped we had a discussion about giving the killer bit to people we dislike rather than the sick and old.
I kicked off with anyone who has ...
... more than 3 criminal convictions. Dave quickly countered with The French! A short while later with the list getting longer we decided perhaps it would easier to make a list of those we didn't want to get it.
It eventually stopped raining long enough ...
... for James to come back and assemble the Oak frame for the covered seating area in the nicest corner of the wood. There is still quite a bit to do besides the tiled roof but who knows there might be a finished pic of it in the next edition with bluebells in the background ... or maybe not!
The rose carvings on the cross members are by Basil the Master Carver who I am hoping to persuade to do one last bit of magic before he goes to live in the wilds of Scotland later this year. |
As mentioned in the above picture of Oak ...
... delivered by Erwin the largest one was too much for both Doris the Tractor to lift and the Bandsaw to handle and needed milling. Tom pictured is a local Oak craftsman and a new contact. My first dealings with timber in 1998 were with his step father a local farmer.
My need for a reduction in size dove tailed with Tom's need for a 5" slab that he could turn into a work of art so we killed two birds with one alaskan mill and what will hopefully be a fruitful relationship was begun.
Tom's mill just managed the 28" cut with a little trim and was quickly converted into beams. |
Thursday Dave's lavatorial masterpiece ...
... offering a panoramic view with your poo was finally completed. It's going to be a senior officers one with only honoured invited guests. For those of you unlikely to have a go you'll have to take my word it's a massive upgrade on the tradesmans one nearer the woodsheds.
With the lockdown ...
... usual business paused with the aging band of helpers staying home as directed. This meant when the weather finally perked up and Spring sprung with delightful sunshine it passed us by.
Hopefully you'll be fit and willing to come over with pockets full of cash that your significant other hasn't been able to squander in Coffee shops etc !
Regards,
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